Passover

School has always been an exciting “place” for me. I love to learn. (By now you know how I love all of the supplies that go along with it!)I love applying why I’ve learned to my life. What do I enjoy learning about the most? Welll shiieet. That’s tough! Basically: the arts, religion, culture, and medicine (holistic and western) are my grooves.

2 weeks ago I didn’t know how in TH they could dare meet together seamlessly, but after 3 days of online study I clearly see. This would normally not matter to me at all. However, I have decided to pursue a degree in anthropology (MS or PhD…IDK), and I want my research to mirror my learning passions/grooves. So I was determined to find the intersectionality.

I also ironicaly discovered the depths of what I’ve learned over the years is greater than what I have given myself credit for. As I listen to and read from leaders in these fields I realize the reason I sit at certain tables and get to have particular conversations. I don’t say this with any amount of arrogance. This last year I’ve actually questioned my intelligence and ability more than ever.

I work in spaces where my longest area of study (dance) is not the same as the majority. Not speaking “their language” fluidly has had a way of humbling me; nearly crippling me in the same breath. It may be hard to believe. I have asked myself all too often if I was good enough. For what? Promotions, honors, distinctions, opportunities. Being passed over will do that to you. In my case I chose not to sit and wallow in those emotions. I self-examined and created a path to improvements.

All this being said, I’m learning and working towards something great. Those feelings of inadequacy have been most of my fuel to take this leap to an advance degree. Along my journey to there, I’m looking for the best ways to keep growing and applying what I learn. In this I’m hoping share gems with the world in the best format. Social media, blogs, etc. aren’t bad. I’ve used them mainly because I have been afraid to talk.

As a child I was told that I talked too much, and too loud. For that, I do not really care for how I sound recorded. I am super critical. This past weekend I was broken from that as I sat with my partner as he edited a class I recorded. *Eeek* It was rough. I ran away for about 30 minutes to make some natural bath products. Oh, but he still was not done. So I was forced to sit with myself, hear myself, and for the first time enjoy my voice and what I had to offer.

This moment has opened my heart to the possibilities of what more can I do.

For this I am grateful. For this I give thanks.