Song number 3 on the Forty Years of Magic playlist is Beyonce’s “Upgrade U”. This song was produced by Beyonce, Swizz Beats, and Cameron Wallace. Composers included Bey, Jay, and Solange. That should give us all an idea of exactly what we’re working with here on each level. I am not sure that it qualifies to be an R&B classic. But it’s surely a Beyonce classic. There is such musical greatness here. If you’re a lover of words and music, then you can appreciate the full vibe this song comes with.

Let’s start with verse 1…

I love how Jay-Z tries to “downplay” Beyonce during the intro (so cute); knowing full well what she’s about to say is complete truth…facts! Beyonce begins by letting him know how she’s a benefit and blessing; that grasping her attention and light will take more than the average woman desires. She lays it on him thick at this point “You need a real woman in your life; taking care of home and still fly. I can help you build up your account…anything you cop I’ll split the bill”; nearly sounding completely arrogant, which can be off putting. However, I have always seen this more of a lesson for the ladies.

(Speaking from experience) Too often women settle for just enough because we forget that we are a blessing to our mate. We were literally created for the man. When we know our worth our expectations shift to meet that worth. This will essentially alter the way we are approached, and by whom. I can nearly assure you that when we know our worth only a certain caliber (meaning a person with integrity, strong morals, quality character; not status) of man will approach you.

IDK Beyonce’s complete upbringing. But my Christian-self quickly thought of the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 through the segue to the chorus. What is a “real woman”? I am so glad you asked! (Yes, I am about to drop scripture in this blog about an R&B song.)

“Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night.Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders. She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness.” Proverbs 31:10-27 NLT

This juxtaposed to the remainder of this verse, Beyonce gives an abridged blueprint on how woman can be a quality mate. It’s not enough to have money, brains, and beauty. We must also be innovative, business-minded, supportive, and resourceful; all while “taking care of home and still fly”. This is not the first time, nor the last, she has informed the masses on how to support their mates. Being this type of mate does take effort. If one seeks to have a bonafide, intimate partnership this level of care and commitment is necessary (for both partners).

Now verse 2…

I can do for you, what Martin did for the people
Ran by the men, but the women keep the tempo
It's very seldom, that you're blessed to find your equal
Still played my part and let you take the lead role, believe me

I'll follow, this could be easy
I'll be the help, whenever you need me (you need me)
I see your hustle with my hustle, I can keep you
Focused on your focus, I can feed you

I find it hard to not get hype at this point in the song. WHY? Because this is exactly what a love partnership should consist of: leading and following, helping, refocusing one another, feeding each other (literally and figuratively). I usually have to rewind the song back so I can sing along the second time. I must say that I am fond of Beyonce’s boldness with this song. It takes a lot of courage for a woman in the 2000’s to speak up and say

1. I am an asset to you. You need me. But guess what? I need you too! (and)

2. I’m going to allow you to lead. Our life will be easy. We can hustle together while helping each other, and keeping one another focused.

Today’s society has created a generation of humans that do not value intimate partnerships as we once did. it has become taboo, and nearly scoffed at. Although I have never been married I have watched quality marriages and unions produce some epic creations in the community using the formula of love+support+care+enjoy in their relationship. There is truly nothing like having a mate that is in agreement with this, and willing to be that; just as well as receive it.

I have always contended that I am a force to be reckoned with, and that my mate will be the same. Inevitably we will create a profound legacy through our work. We all are undoubtedly whole individuals, coming together in love, support, care, and joy will have a way of manifesting things that were not feasible on our own though. That does not make one less than important or capable. It is like baking. There are always essential ingredients. Trust me, you do not want to leave out, or use the wrong amount, of the essential ingredients.

Your mate is the essential ingredient to your life’s acceleration…upgrade, if you will.