My (clean) laundry began to stack up.

My bags began to stack up.

My books and pens started to go missing.

My body started to ache.

I started to feel miserable.

Since yoga (asana class) is usually my go to for realigning things I made plans to go. But I just couldn't seem to get there. Stuff kept interrupting my time. I mean...it was important stuff, but so is my yoga! It all (stacks of stuff, missing stuff, pain, sickness) frustrated me just enough as I prepared for Christmas. I chose to not have a meltdown no matter what.

So what did this all I mean? Of course my intelligent self tried to figure this out on Christmas Eve while wrapping gifts and my eyebrows needed to be snatched. Well, I put it on the back burner until the day after Christmas. It meant that I needed to declutter. Because I had so much clothing piled up I enlisted my son to help get it all on hangers while I sorted through all the other stuff (gifts, bags, wrapping, pens, books), and then hung up the clothes. As I looked over my freshly made bed I was pretty pleased with what I had done.

Before I could plop in there I noticed one corner that kept calling me. I truly was tired and didn't feel like going through those books and notes...why? I kept thinking it could wait. NOT! After I started going through it all I see why waiting was not a good option.

As I leafed through the pages of my "ideas" journal I discovered the visions and plans I saw for my life (much of which is taking shape now). I found my business plans and marketing samples and strategies. I cam across 2 books I wrote, and the complete outline for another. If that wasn't enough, I also discovered the materials I created for my dance workshops. And amongst it all were several affirmations and scriptures that I needed to hear right then.

Every piece was in a perfect place, and reflected the light that's OBVIOUSLY been inside me for years (at least 8). I was surprised and overjoyed to say the least. I was largely in awe of how these things molded and shaped who I am right now. The other part was, I don't have to recreate the wheel!!! To think, I would not have found any of it had I not listened to my inner voice. After my discovery I was ready to stay on track with my visions. So I committed to getting on the mat...I had to clear my mind too.

I spent most of Tuesday frustrated that Yoga On High was closed for the holidays. Where would I take class? I mean I can guide myself through. But for this I needed an outside guide. Finally late in the day I saw a post with several donation classes at YOHI! The joy I had was crazy. I was going to take class with Jeremy Grace who had just friended me on Facebook (WOOT!WOOT! lol, it's the little things).

As I drove to class I thought over my intentions for class, the month, and 2017 while listening to "The Unmaking" by Nichole Nordeman:

"This is the unmaking
The beauty in the breaking
Had to lose myself
To find out who You are
Before each beginning
There must be an ending
Sitting in the rubble
I can see the stars
This is the unmaking
This is the unmaking"

It was very clear: BREAKTHOUGH-ABUNDANCE. It's time to break through the blockages in my life and allow my light to shine. [BTW, I know this is long.]

During class I stayed on task with my intentions, even though I had a few second thoughts. But as class wound to savasana Jeremy drew our attention to the song playing, "Bowl of Light" by Trevor Hall:

"Don't you carry stones
Don't you carry stones
Don't you carry stones
Don't you carry stones
Don't you carry stones
Don't you carry stones in your bowl of light
In your bowl of light
In your bowl of light
In your bowl of light"

I cannot even give justice to his description of the song. But it completely affirmed my intentions and what I had come to realize over the past 24 hours; I'd been hiding my light.

No longer would I all the rubble/debri/stones of doubt, anxiety, introversion, skepticism, deceit, limits, comparison, or worry to block my light. I am here to shine and share my light with as many as I can.

For this I am grateful!

 12.29.2016